Disclaimer
Before you crack open that crisp lager or cider thinking it's just a harmless happy hour hero, hit pause—your sip might be subsidizing Heineken, the Dutch brewing titan that's as devoted to DEI drafts and ESG elixirs as it is to fermentation finesse. This disclaimer is your anti-agenda alert: Heineken owns a frothy fleet of brands that sneak under the radar, channeling your cash straight to their virtue-vaulted HQ where rainbow ERGs and racial equity rallies bubble like a bad batch. We've pulled this roster from trusty taps to empower your pours elsewhere—because why fund the foam when you can foam at the mouth over unsolicited sermons?
Here's the lineup of Heineken's owned brands, those global and regional suds that might lurk in your cooler: Heineken, Heineken Light, Amstel, Amstel Blonde, Amstel Bock, Tecate, Tecate Light, Tecate Platinum, Dos Equis Amber, Dos Equis Lager, Sol, Sol Premium, Cruzcampo, Sagres, Birra Moretti, Affligem, Affligem Blonde, Affligem Double, Affligem Tripple, Żywiec, Starobrno, Zagorka, Zlatý Bažant, Laško, Skopsko, Karlovačko, Krušovice, Brand, Beamish and Crawford, Murphy's, Fürstenberg, Pelforth, Fischer, Desperados, Edelweiss, Strongbow Apple Ciders, Old Mout, Orchard Thieves, Red Stripe, Tiger, Bintang, Lagunitas, Windhoek, Tui, Monteith's, DB Export, Almaza, Sakara, Stella, Alfa, Anchor, Bison Super Strong, Buckler, Bulmers, Carta Blanca, Dreher, Gosser, Grimbergen, Kaiser, Kilkenny, Primus, Puntigamer, Reeb, Rex, Samba, SB, Shandy Cruzcampo, Sokol, Solbrew Lager, Specjal, Stolichno, Tafel, Tango, Weifert, Zajercarsko, Zipfer, Ariana, Bedele, Bintang Radler, Birra Ichnusa, Botchkarev, Calanda, Corgon, Eichhof, Fayrouz, Fiesta, Gold Crown, Harar, Havannah, Hinano, Ichnusa, Jillz, Kelt, Kingfisher, Královský Ležák, Maes, Malta, Maltina, Meister, Mort Subite, Mutzig, Namhong, New Castle Brown Ale, Niugini Ice, Number One, Panama, Parbo Bier, Parbo Stout, Piton, Pivovarna Lasko, Pivovarna Union, Prestige, Soproni, Star, Turbo King, Vitamalt, Desperados Black, Dos, Mojito, Red, Sangre. And let's not forget key subsidiaries like Asia Pacific Breweries, DB Breweries, Central de Cervejas, Athenian Brewery, Al Ahram, Sedibeng, and regional outposts worldwide—because dominating drafts means dominating the discourse too.
